On Confidence, Vulnerability, and Being Human

"A quiet reminder that confidence often grows one careful step at a time."

---

Confidence Isn’t Who You Are - It’s What You Practise

A gentle reflection on building confidence through self-trust and presence

People often tell me I’m confident. And I receive that with gratitude.

But confidence was not something I was born holding. It wasn’t stitched into me from the beginning or gifted without effort. It’s something life has shaped - slowly - through experience, relationships, loss, growth, and moments where I doubted myself and showed up anyway.

Some days confidence feels steady. Other days it feels quieter, more fragile, something

I have to practise again.

And I’ve come to realise - that doesn’t mean it’s missing. It means it’s alive.

Confidence isn’t something we’re born with or without

- it’s something we practise, shape, and return to

throughout life.

"Eva, how can I build confidence? I need tools or guidance - I know what confidence is, but I don’t know how to practise it."

That question stayed with me. Not because I had a perfect answer. But because of the honesty in it.

Wanting confidence doesn’t mean you’re lacking something. It means you’re listening.

Confidence is often misunderstood

We’re taught to recognise confidence as certainty. As loud voices, strong opinions, fearless actions. But real confidence rarely looks like that.

Confidence can look like:

•staying quiet when you don’t need to prove anything

•saying “I don’t know, but I’m willing to learn”

•showing up even while your hands shake

•choosing honesty over appearance

Confidence isn’t the absence of doubt. It’s the willingness to move with it.

Confidence in everyday life

Confidence isn’t always standing at the front of the room. Sometimes it’s trusting yourself enough to sit where you are.

It’s sending the email you’ve been overthinking.

It’s speaking gently but clearly in a conversation that matters.

It’s setting a boundary without needing to explain it perfectly.

In relationships, confidence can sound like:

“I don’t have the words yet, but I want to try.”

At work, it might be:

“I’m still learning - and I’m showing up anyway.”

After a setback, confidence is often quieter still. It’s returning to yourself instead of turning against yourself.

A quiet note for anyone who feels unseen

Many men I’ve spoken to don’t lack confidence. They lack safe places to practise it.

Somewhere along the way, strength became silence. Confidence became certainty.

And doubt became something to hide.

Confidence doesn’t grow in isolation. It grows where it’s allowed to be human.

And that’s not a weakness. That’s courage.

What wisdom has taught me

Marcus Aurelius once reminded us that much of our suffering comes not from reality itself, but from our interpretation of it.

Confidence often fades not because we’re incapable - but because we believe every doubtful thought we have.

The Stoics spoke often about focusing on what’s within our control.

Confidence lives there too - not in outcomes, but in how we choose to meet each moment.

Dale Carnegie echoed something equally important in a different way. He taught that confidence isn’t built by waiting until fear disappears - but by acting kindly and imperfectly with fear present.

Confidence grows through experience. Through small acts of courage. Through choosing to show up before we feel ready.

Gentle ways to practise confidence

Not rules. Not fixes. Just places to begin.

•Let confidence be situational - you don’t need it everywhere

•Start where you already feel a little safe

•Borrow confidence from values, not performance

•Speak to yourself as you would to someone you respect

•Practise honesty in small, low-risk moments

•Allow yourself to be learning, not finished

Confidence isn’t something you switch on. It’s something you return to.

My truth

I accept the compliment when people tell me I’m confident. And I also know it’s something I continue to practise. I didn’t arrive confident. Life is still shaping me.

And I actually like that - because it means there’s always room to evolve.

Confidence isn’t a personality trait. It’s a relationship - with yourself, with safety, with honesty.

Whoever you are, learning how to stand a little steadier in the world - you’re allowed to practise it slowly.

We all are.

With care,

Eva

Thank you for being here and for taking the time to read. This space wouldn’t exist without you - your presence, your reflections, and your willingness to meet these words with openness.

If something in this piece stayed with you, you’re warmly welcome to share it with someone who might need it - or simply sit with it yourself, just as it is.

---

More calm, if you need it

If you missed it, my earlier reflection Living Wishes Over Loud Goalshttps://www.molemindfullife.com/post/living-wishes-over-loud-goals-a-gentle-mid-january-reflection continues this theme - a quiet pause around gentleness, self-trust, and moving at a more human pace.

And if reading feels like too much, you might prefer to listen instead. I’ve shared a 10-minute guided meditation on my YouTube channel - How to stay true to yourself : a gentle guided meditation for overwhealm and noise - created as a soft place to breathe and settle https://youtu.be/Ba6fK3Q-qQA?si=DKAD_yrfiuN28J9x

You’re very welcome to explore either, only if and when it feels right.

---

The reflections, meditations, and content shared here are offered for general information, inspiration, and personal reflection only.

They are not intended to replace professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Nothing on this website creates, or is intended to create, a medical or therapeutic relationship. If you have questions about your health, mental wellbeing, or any medical condition, please seek guidance from a qualified healthcare professional you trust. Always consult a licensed professional before starting, changing, or stopping any form of treatment, medication, or wellness practice.

Please listen to your body, move at your own pace, and take what feels supportive - leaving the rest behind.