Letting Go of Past Hurts | Mindfulness and Healing Practices

Letting go isn't forgetting - it's choosing to carry less.

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Letting Go of Past Hurts | Mindfulness and Healing Practices

Dear friend,

It’s been a couple of weeks now since we began this journey of letting go together, and

I wanted to share something honestly: I’m still working on it. Letting go is not a quick fix - it’s a gentle, ongoing practice. Some days I write, rewrite, scribble things out, burn the page, and start again. Other days, I simply sit with what rises and breathe through it.

Letting go happens in layers.

And healing… well, healing needs patience.

I remind myself often: we don’t meditate just to meditate - we meditate so the practice slowly becomes who we are.

A calmer presence.

A softer reaction.

A steadier heart.

And truly… I do feel lighter. Because I no longer want to stay stuck in old hurts or grip tightly to resistance. Resistance only creates more suffering - we know this deep down, don’t we?

Compassion softens the grip - for others, and for the past version of you who were simply human.

Why We Hold On to Hurts

Some hurts sit quietly inside us, like stones in our pockets. We think we’ve moved on, yet they tug on our steps. I’ve carried those stones too - old words, regrets, memories that replay when my mind feels tired.

Our brain holds onto hurt because it’s wired for protection, not happiness. Rumination - that repetitive replaying of the past - is the mind’s attempt to “keep us safe.” But what protects us in the short term can wound us in the long term.

Neuroscience shows that rumination activates the same stress pathways that were triggered during the original moment of pain. The body reacts as if the hurt is still happening. Cortisol rises. The wound stays open.

Letting go interrupts this cycle. It gives the nervous system permission to exhale.

It allows the body to soften again.

Gentle Wisdom on Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not saying, “it was okay.”

Forgiveness is saying, “this no longer gets to rule me.”

It is choosing freedom over repetition. Compassion over bitterness. A clearer path over a heavier heart.

Self-compassion matters here too. I’m learning to be softer with my past self - the one who didn’t know better, or was simply tired, overwhelmed, or human.

Letting go doesn’t erase the story.

It simply lets you write the next chapter without a stone weighing down your pocket.

Even the smallest release can change the way a heart feels held.

Gentle Practices for Releasing Past Hurts

Here are the practices I use myself - soft, simple anchors that help when my heart feels heavy.

The Unsent Letter

Write what you wish you could say - to a person, to a younger version of you, to a moment that still echoes. Don’t send it. The writing itself is the release.

(I write and rewrite, tear the paper, burn it, begin again. Sometimes every day. Sometimes only when

I feel I can’t carry it alone anymore.)

The Stone Ritual

Hold a stone and imagine placing your hurt inside it. Let your breath guide the release.

Then place it down on the earth or into water.

My therapist gifted me a stone with “Healing” engraved on it when my counselling ended. I still carry it on heavy days - not to hold the pain, but to remind myself to stay grounded, to let go, to breathe.

Simple, but powerful.

The Compassion Pause

When an old pain rises, place your hand over your heart and whisper:

“That was then. This is now. I choose gentleness.”

And on certain days, when I’m exhausted, I simply say:

“Eva… you’re tired. Let it pass. Think of something kind. Bring a little light to your community.” It works more than you’d expect.

The Silence Practice

Give yourself a few moments of quiet. Let the memory come… but don’t chase it. Let your breath carry it through and out.

Sometimes I sit and listen for silence itself. Not the absence of sound, but the calm beneath it - the soft, steady quiet that exists underneath everything.

Afterword

To let go of past hurts isn’t to forget them - it’s to carry them differently. With compassion instead of weight. With awareness instead of reflex. With softness instead of armour.

Healing begins the moment your hands open again.

That moment you say: I don’t need to grip this anymore.

Each time we release even one small stone, we change the way we move through the world. We become more aware. More grounded. More ourselves.

This week, maybe you’ll set something down - or maybe you’ll walk to a local river or beach, find your own special stone, and choose a new symbol for your healing. Keep it as a talisman… or toss it into the water and watch it disappear beneath the ripples.

Whatever you choose will be enough.

Thank you - truly - for being here and reading with me. And may today remind you not to overwork your healing. Not every moment needs fixing. Some moments need rest.

Some need celebration. Some simply need a quiet breath.

If you feel like sharing, I’d love to hear what helps you let go - or whether you’ll be going on a little “stone-finding mission” of your own.

Before You Go…

Just a tiny whisper from today’s journal:

I’m learning that letting go is less like a door we walk through

and more like a window we open a little wider each day.

Some days the breeze comes in easily.

Other days, it barely moves at all -

but it’s still open.

And that counts.

So, before you head back into your day,

take a moment…

feel your shoulders soften,

feel your jaw uncurl,

feel even one small place inside you unclench.

Ask gently:

“What can I release, even by a breath?”

Maybe it’s an old sentence that still stings.

Maybe it’s a mistake you’ve rehearsed too many times.

Maybe it’s simply the weight of trying so hard to heal perfectly.

Whatever rises, let it float a little.

Let it loosen.

Let it soften its edges around you.

Your healing doesn’t need to be loud.

It just needs to be honest.

And today, honesty - even in its smallest form - is more than enough.

With care,

Eva

We don't meditate just to meditate - we meditate so the practice slowly becomes who we are.

 References

Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (2000). The role of rumination in depressive disorders and mixed anxiety/depressive symptoms. Journal of Abnormal Psychology.

-Supports your point on rumination and emotional suffering.

Brosschot, J., Verkuil, B., & Thayer, J. (2018). Worry and rumination as unifying concepts in understanding prolonged stress. Stress: The International Journal.

-Backs the idea that the body reacts as if the hurt is happening now.

McEwen, B. (2007). Physiology and neurobiology of stress and adaptation: central role of the brain. Physiological Reviews.

-Supports cortisol, stress pathways, and nervous system regulation.

Gilbert, P. (2009). The Compassionate Mind. Constable & Robinson.

-Fits perfectly with your compassion-based perspective and CFT roots.

Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-based interventions in context: past, present, and future. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice.

-Supports your mindfulness practices and letting-go approach.