Embracing Your Voice – A Journey from Self-Doubt to Self-Acceptance

"It wasn't just the accent they questioned- it was the way I spoke. Too calm for some. Too soft for others. And it hurt."

Learning to Love My Voice – A Journey from Self-Doubt to Self-Acceptance

Dear Beautiful Soul,

The weather in the UK is spoiling us today. A soft, fresh breath of wind wraps me in calm as I sway gently in my hanging egg chair. The sun is shining, birds are chirping, and the acorn trees are blooming with delicate white flowers. There’s something about the rhythmic motion that soothes the mind – a gentle reminder to come back to yourself, to your breath, to your presence, and yes, to the sound of your own voice.

Speaking of voices, let me take you back to a time when hearing mine was anything but calming.

"Your voice is not a mistake. It's a gift. A gift that no one else in this world can give."

How Did I Get Comfortable with My Voice?

Not too long ago, someone asked me:

“How did you get comfortable with your voice on videos? I don’t even like mine on my voicemail, much less on a video.”

That question hit home because I was right there not too long ago. And maybe you are, too.

Why Does My Voice Sound So Different?

Ever noticed how your voice sounds completely different in recordings than it does in your head?

When my son casually mentioned that we hear our own voice differently because our ears and mouth are so close, it was a lightbulb moment. “Oh, so that really is me?”

It sounded silly, but accepting that fact was a huge step towards embracing my voice – wobbly notes and all.

There’s science behind that discomfort. When we speak, we hear our voice in two ways:

1. Air Conduction: Sound waves travel through the air and hit our eardrums.

2. Bone Conduction: Vibrations from our vocal cords travel through the bones in our skull, creating a deeper, richer sound.

When we hear a recording, we’re only getting the air-conducted version – no bone vibrations. This makes our voice sound higher, thinner, and, well… a bit weird.

According to research from University College London, this mismatch can be disorienting but is entirely normal. Understanding this was a huge step toward accepting the sound of my own voice.

When Words Become Wounds – My Story

Let me take you back about ten years. Picture this: a Latvian girl from a country so small, its entire population is about the size of a single UK city (yep, true story), settling into life in England. I was nervous about every syllable leaving my mouth.

Before moving to England, I had spent five years in Ireland, where a wonderful manager helped me find my voice, encouraging me to speak up and feel confident in my English. Then, life brought me to England – a place I now call home. But in the beginning, the transition was difficult.

Some people made comments like:

• “You talk weird.”

• “Your English is horrible.”

• “Your voice is so calm, it’s stressful.”

That last one still lingers. It wasn’t just the accent they questioned – it was the way I spoke. Too calm for some. Too soft for others. And it hurt.

I even left a job because those constant remarks chipped away at my confidence. But over time, I found myself surrounded by beautiful souls who welcomed me, encouraged me, and helped me see the value in my voice. Many of those people are now like family to me, reminding me that kindness is everywhere, even when it doesn’t feel that way at first.

Because that’s the beauty of life – there are always good, kind people waiting to connect.

Finding My Voice in the Mountains

Then came the Lake District – my happy place. (If you follow my "No Scroll Sundays", you already know this.)

During one of those nature walks, surrounded by nothing but wind, whispers, and sheep (yes, I talk to them too), an idea floated into my mind like a leaf on a breeze:

“What if I recorded my own meditations?”

Not to be seen, but to be heard. Quietly. Softly. Just me and my words.

(Yes, you can still see me on video – but talking directly to the camera? That’s the next level. I’m working on it, slowly.)

"Keep showing up. Keep speaking up. Someone, somewhere, needs to hear exactly what you have to say."

30-Minute Daily Practice: Reclaiming My Voice

Every single day, I read aloud for 30 minutes. Not just any reading – I read affirmations, encouraging words, stories that lifted me up.

I recorded them. Listened back. And each time, I cringed a little less.

I even started writing in my journal, over and over again:

• “I love my voice.”

• “My voice is calm and soothing.”

• “People understand and appreciate my words.”

According to Dr. David Hamilton, affirmations can rewire the brain’s reward system, releasing dopamine – that feel-good chemical associated with self-acceptance.

You’re Not Alone – The Power of Supportive Voices

Alongside my daily practice, there was another game-changer – the kind words from my community.

For every one critic, there were ten beautiful souls who said:

• “Your voice is so calming.”

• “I love listening to your meditations.”

• “Your words bring me peace.”

Those voices became my healing balm. And maybe today, these words can be yours.

Gentle Exercises to Embrace Your Voice

If you’re feeling unsure about your voice, try these mindful practices:

1. Voice Journaling: Record a daily audio journal. Speak from the heart, no script. Listen back with compassion.

2. Affirmation Meditation: Sit quietly. Repeat:

• “My voice is worthy of being heard.”

• “My words carry weight and warmth.”

• “I am enough – exactly as I am.”

3. Gratitude Practice: Write down three things you love about your voice.

Simple things like:

• “It’s soft.”

• “It’s unique.”

• “It’s mine.”

4. Record and Release: Record a loving message to yourself. Listen. Delete. Repeat. Notice the small shifts over time.

Afterword – A Gentle Nudge

To the person who asked how I got comfortable with my voice – thank you.

Your question opened a space for me to share a part of my story I didn’t realise needed telling.

And to you, lovely reader – it’s okay if your voice still feels strange or foreign.

But it’s yours. And it’s beautiful.

Keep showing up. Keep speaking up. Someone, somewhere, needs to hear exactly what you have to say.

With love,

Eva

Feeling inspired to reconnect with your own voice?

Try one of the mindful exercises above and let me know how it felt.

And if you found this post helpful, consider sharing it with someone who needs a gentle reminder that their voice is worth hearing.

"Your voice is more than the sound you hear - It's the story you carry. Embrace it."

Further Reading & Resources:

1. Why Our Recorded Voice Sounds Different – University College London Understanding Voice Perception

2. The Power of Affirmations – Dr. David R. Hamilton How Affirmations Rewire the Brain

3. Self-Affirmation and Behavioural Change – British Journal of Health Psychology Building Self-Esteem Through Affirmations

1. University College London – Understanding Voice Perception:

McGettigan, C. (2023). Why Our Recorded Voice Sounds Different: The Science of Self-Perception. British Journal of Psychology. Link

2. British Journal of Psychology – Self-Bias and Voice Perception:

Jones, E., & Smith, A. (2024). The Brain’s Response to Self-Associated Cues. British Journal of Psychology, 127(2), 456-471. Link

3. Dr. David R. Hamilton – The Science of Affirmations:

Hamilton, D. (2023). The Power of Words: How Affirmations Rewire the Brain. Mindful Living Journal. Link

4. British Journal of Health Psychology – Building Self-Esteem Through Affirmations:

Brown, L., & Patel, S. (2024). Self-Affirmation Exercises and Behavioural Change. British Journal of Health Psychology, 29(1), 78-90. Link

Why Your Recorded Voice Sounds Different – Washington Post

Why We Cringe at Our Own Voice – The Guardian